My Shannon is engaged!!! Oy vey, when she told me I almost felt like crying, I was shocked at first, but now I'm happy and excited for her.

And Jeralyn is getting married next week, and I wish I could be there to celebrate with her and everyone else in Pensacola. Alicia is currently there, and I must say I am quite envious.

So this is what happens when you get older; you start attending alot of weddings, baby showers, and funerals.

Other than that, life is pretty routine. I've been uber busy, and by that I mean working alot. Today my co-workers and I went to a restaurant and had a Christmas dinner and exchanged gifts. I must say I work with some pretty awesome people.

I have Tuesday off, so I will do ALL my Christmas shopping on that day and then probably go home and jump off the balcony; I hate to shop this time of year.

I will be returning home on the 22nd for a week or so, I'm excited to see my family, my tumor-less dog, and our brand new digital cable.

It's snowing! Actually it's just an ice storm at the moment. We are supposed to get up to 10 inches. This is going to make my commute to work great. Oh yeah, for all you folks that don't call me, I got a job and it's pretty sweet; literally. Give me a ring for the gory details.

I also decorated our apartment which now officially looks like a Christmas explosion. I put up every Christmas thing I could find and needless to say I went a little crazy. Not to mention that we have the cutest mini tree and half tree ever. The half tree is about 3 ft tall and the top portion is completely flat (long story about how that came about), and instead of a beautiful angel I topped it with a perverted looking elf with his legs wide open and a bow on its crotch. Pictures to follow.

Beyond that I can't really remember anything else.

I took a test to prove that I'm not on drugs. So I AM this way naturally.

I recently attempted this upside down yoga move in the living room, however in the process I fell on all these Christmas boxes, it was quite amusing, I think I'm going to try it again. If you don't hear from me in a few days, something has gone horribly wrong and I'm probably in the middle of the living room unable to reach a phone or move. Just a forwarning.

So most of you already know that I got this internship at Troma in NYC. It's a pretty long story, and the irony of it all is just too much to write; oddly enough the guy in charge of the internship program lived in Pensacola where I went to school and worked at this awesome bar/restaurant we went to all the time, small world... parents live in Ellicott City, going to be here during Christmas, blah, blah, blah, sounds more like a dating ad more than anything, but onwards...

Basically what I did figure out is that I either need a therapist, a psychiatrist, a career counselor, valium, heroin, or maybe I should just be in jail where my days are planned for me. Maybe Crystal Meth or "Ice" as the kids call it.

But you know what is probably going to end up happening; I won't do it. Granted I have pretty good reasons like having no where to live (I did think of the subway for a while, but I don't like to share my personal space with strangers), no money, no job. My parents think I am mentally retarded and blantantly told me that next time something comes up to just not tell them. I make them too nervous.

I mean I definitley have a way of doing what I want, but I don't even think I can pull this one off. Maybe I should just look harder here in Chicago.

-I finished reading 'Running with Scissors'; very good book.

- Sundae pooped on the carpet.

- Mapquest screwed me over royally, AGAIN!

- I put together Cristine's shelf/ table thingy yesterday because I felt inspired by Jesus, the carpenter.

- Cristine is going to MD tomorrow to meet up with Alicia and be with the family until Sunday when they both return. That means I have the apartment AND Sundae to myself. So this basically means I have all this time to really screw things up. Maybe I can work it out so instead of having different opportunities in different states, I'll just start going for countries. Malaysia is next on my list.

So I got the internship at Troma; start in January. My head's going to explode.

My head feels like it just might explode. I don't wanna jinx myself but I MIGHT have this uber opportunity to intern at Troma Entertainment in NYC. It probably wont happen, right now I'm just waiting to talk to the Internship Coordinator.

My head might really explode.

I think I'm going to go lay down.

So I have been in Chi-town for almost a week now and I am still restless, yet a little more confident about what direction I want to go in. Shannon came to Maryland and drove with me to Chicago, it was great; didn't seem long at all. We surprised Cristine and Alicia, they didn't know Shannon was going to be with me. Later on we went downtown to an Irish pub and watched Cristine's favorite performer Chris Thile and his band sing. Awesome night. Next couple of days I showed Shannon around downtown Chicago and we just explored the city...it was so damn windy.

Today Alicia left to spend some time with her family and friends for a couple weeks in Baltimore. She and I are currently in the same unemployment boat. After which she will be volunteering in Houma,Louisiana for a month. By the way, Alicia is going to need a car while shes down there, so if anybody has a car they could lend for a month (or know someone who does) it would be a great help.

My eyes are burning. Too many hours in front of this portal for electro- magnetic radiation. I've been busy writing cover letters for things that are seemingly out of my reach. But I'm tired of not doing things because I'm afraid of being dissapointed. Jeralyn spoke to me today and said (not in these words, but pretty close) "Bessie, even if you don't feel confident, you have to make everyone else think that you are; it's what separates those that are going to reach there goals in comparison to those that WANT to reach those same goals but instead just labor around in the background hoping someone will take notice and advance them".

Damn you Darwin and your natural selection.

Basically, I just want to make due right now as I work on other stuff that interests me. And I'm not going to tell you what that is, because I just want to be left alone on this one for a while. I might move all the time, and I might do things on the spur of the moment, but I take risks. Things that I do might seem unplanned and naive, but I always end up exactly where I was meant to be.

These past few months have been tumulutous and I have doubted myself alot during that time. And these next few months will not be free of obstacles and upheavels I'm sure. I have alot more major decision making in front of me, and it always seems like I have everyone pulling me in a direction that I don't want to go in. Sometimes I just have to throw logic aside and go into things blindly.

We'll see my fellow comrades, I might shock you all.

Well mon amis, Thursday I will be heading back to Chicagolandville, which I suppose means restarting my life once again. You know I thought that during this time in Maryland I would have time for reflection, which in turn would help me figure out what the hell I want to do, or give me some sort of direction in what I want to do. But alas, it has not. If anything, I am more indecisive than ever.

But first things first. Get a job.

For the last couple months there has been a weight on my heart, but I always override it because, well, I just have to do what I think is best for me. I've always done it this way. We'll see I suppose. I'm excited to see my friends, and I think my best reflection will be done there, and not here.

Making decisions are hard. Mainly because, making a decision means that I have settled myself to something. And I hate to feel tied down to anything and anywhere. Because I figure, What could I be missing out on while doing this? Oy Vey, this entry is horribly depressing and introspective....too much for my taste, so let's switch it up shall we?



Happy early birthday Cristine!!! Don't mind me, I'm having a moment. I am truly excited to see everyone and I am even more excited about the wonderful surprise I am bringing you. You and Alicia are just going to get a kick out of it, I can't wait. Be afraid, be very afraid.

I suppose that's about it. Gots to go figure out how I am going to win one of those coveted Nobel Prizes.

Over and Out.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Today is going to be a difficult day. Tonight I had tickets to see Tool in Chicago. Obviously I am not there. This is a sad, sad, day.

You know, I think the world is ending. Well it probably with all this global warming and the polar ice caps melting, and the sea level rising that is totally going to cover the continents. But on a lighter note, the news has been so filled with so much I.Q. lowering information, I couldn't help but share it with all of you.

1. Oh my dear crocodile hunter, we will miss you so. Oh and I hate you PETA, you sleazy, insensitive, hypocritical bastards. And to think I called you my comrade.

2. Whitney and Bobby broke up. I shed a tear, I really did.

3. How the hell are you going to arrest Dog the Bounty Hunter?! I can just see all the meth addicts of Hawaii running rampant without him there to lay down the law. This is an atrocity, is there no justice?

4. Anna Nicole Smith, oy vey. That's just to wierd to even write about.

5. Dancing with the Stars is an epidemic. It's worse that this bagged spinach ordeal. Damn that show is good.

Sidenote: And apparently there is some war going on in the Middle East. A genocide going on in Darfur, and an AIDS epidemic that is going on in Africa that is killing millions of people. But back to Bobby and Whitney...

I have finally found the energy to write an entry. Last time I wrote, I had just graduated, packed up all my crap for the move to Chi-town and was about to spend a two week excursion traveling through Europe. Here's the rundown mon chere:

1. Europe- Uber fabulous time. London, Paris and Rome are places I hope to visit again. If I could have stayed traveling I would have. It was more fun than I could have ever expected; truly worth every penny.

2. Moved up to Chicago with Cristine and Alicia- Chicago is a great city with so much to offer. Almost too much. And for someone like me who is already uber picky, that can become problematic. The transition period has been quite difficult, everything is so new all over again and for the past couple months I have been unemployed and trying to figure out my next move. But like my aunt said to me, "Only God knows why things have happened the way they have". And not having a job has allowed be the opportunity to return home temporarily.

3. And to the next story which most already know, is that I came home (Bowie, MD), in mid August. My 74 year old father was hospitilized and had open heart surgery. It was the most awful experience ever. He spent 13 days in the hospital and is currently home and on the mend. There were so many ups and downs; spending 13 hours a day either in a waiting room, or in his ICU room left be mentally and emotionally exhausted. Everything turned out ok, and we still have a long road ahead of us, but it looks really promising.

So as an only child, I have to be here with my parents and help them out. And granted my life is kinda on hold at the moment, but there is no where else I would be right now. I do intend on returning to Chicago once my dad is well enough to where he doesnt need me around to take care of him anymore. That might be awhile, but I always keep my promises, and I will return to Chicago, most definitly changed, but in a good way. I do miss my roomies too.

4. Looks like I wont be catching Tool in concert in Chi-town, but there is still a possiblity I might see them in D.C. Maybe I'll be able to coerce my dear friend Vazo to join me in the festivities, if he can deal with one more torturous concert.

And now for some random notes:

- I'm really glad I have Fred and Daniel here to get me out of the house, and make me laugh. Two decent products of P.G. County.

- Thanks to everyone who sent their well wishes to my dad. I am so lucky to have wonderful friends.

- OH AND THE IRONY! or is it syncronicity? In conjunction with his triple bypass procedure, my father had his aoritic valve replaced with that of a pig's. It's like a huge slap in the face for my pre-veganism (which I willingly gave up months ago). I bow to you all mighty pig who sacrificed his or her life to save my father's. Modern technology is trippy.

- Who said I miss Pensacola? I must say I do miss Alabama... I mean Pensacola. Something about its simplicity and mundaneness (is that even a word?) calls to me. Not to live, of course, but I might have to make an extended visit.

- I've got to get my yoga and meditation on. Pronto.


Peace out Girl Scout,

Bes

I heading to Europe today you jealous freaks. If I'm not too busy having a grand ole time, I might get a gift for some of you whom I believe to be worthy of my generousity.


- Moved everything out of the house in Pensacola. It was odd seeing it all empty... OH THE MEMORIES! It was kinda hard driving away knowing that I might never see it again.


But on a lighter note, I'm a freakin genius and all of you should remind me of that while I'm gone. SO I expect alot of myspace comments since that is how I gauge your friendship.


Over and Out.